Headless chicken

Headless chicken
by Lt-Gen Harwant Singh (retd)

AS young children, we once cut a chicken’s head in true “jhatka” style and then released it. For the next few minutes it violently jumped about in all directions, fluttering its wings and splattering blood all over the place. It was at this very exciting moment that mother arrived on the scene and we were severely admonished. 

 

We were reminded of those childhood memories of mischief and mirth by our very capable and able ambassador, Ronnen Sen. He, like us, is probably aware how a headless chicken goes about in its final dance of death and, therefore, seems to discover, during the nuclear debate, some similarity in the behaviour of our Hon’ble members of Parliament, with poultry, and that too when the latter is without its head. It is not very clear if he meant it in the literal sense in that the MPs are without their heads or without brains! 

 

However, Ronnen Sen now informs us and the MPs, that the adjective was actually directed at the press, which very cleverly and deftly deflected it to the members of Parliament. May be, the phrase was directed at his personal assistant who was seen moving in and out of his room; restless and jittery while Sen addressed the Press. The media, as often is the case and its won’t, misconstrued and misdirected this inoffensive and well-meaning observation, unnecessarily brought in members of Parliament and equally quoted the whole episode “out of context”. 

 

Given our worthy ambassador Ronnen Sen’s long experience and attendant skills in diplomacy, there must be some agreeable and winning content in this expression, which the members of Parliament, in their limited understanding of diplomacy, have misread and misunderstood and taken uncalled for offence. After all Ronnen Sen tells us and the Privileges Committee of Parliament that he often uses this very endearing phrase for his wife, while she goes about doing household chores. Perhaps, every time he uses this expression of love for his wife she gives him a hug. This, of course, was my own conjecture on reading of this very diplomatic move of a husband towards his wife. 

 

Since there was some delay in serving breakfast, I entered the kitchen and found my wife shuffling around in trying to locate some item to scramble eggs. I figured out that here was a perfect chance for me to be a little diplomatic and say what Sen so often says to his dear wife. I made bold and told my wife that, “you are shuffling around like a headless chicken”. Having said that in a fairly endearing tone, I stood in cavalry style (cavalry officers have a unique style of standing, with one leg slightly bent) expecting her to rush to me and give a loving hug. 

 

Instead, she dispatched a raw egg, at high speed, which caught me square on the face, giving me no time to duck! You see, the Army never spared me for a diplomatic assignment in one of our embassies abroad and, therefore, my wife is not well versed in some of these diplomatic phrases and nuances of diplomatic language! 

http://www.tribuneindia.com/2007/20071105/edit.htm#5